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Incredibly on point. I distinctly remember the birth of my first son. Something...happened. Something clicked, and I knew, instantly, in a non-conceptual but incontrovertible way that "Oh. Huh. This is it. This is what it's all about." It was kind of like the last tumbler in a lock falling into place and simultaneously experiencing the miracle of being unlocked while also feeling the weight of gravity that ultimately caused the tumbler to fall. I was complete but also completed. To lack this experience is to experience lack in its most visceral form, in the deepest pit of your stomach, and the drive to fill it is the essence of desperation. People driven by desperation are dangerous.

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the beginning section was really lovely, thank you

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"The temporarily above-ground part of a vast, superhuman entity" I'm keeping that phrase. Reminds me of my time in the Navy, where I felt like that sometimes. Some continuity would be nice; I feel like my life is drifting meaninglessly. On the other hand, most of the groups I have been part of ultimately didn't provide that, or the cost was too high.

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