A Field Guide to American Houses (Revised): The Definitive Guide to Identifying and Understanding America's Domestic Architecture, Virginia Savage McAlester (Knopf, 2013). One January a few years ago, I decided to learn about gardening. January, it turns out, is the perfect time to do this, because the ground is frozen and there’s no way you can be expected to actually
Thanks for yet another great post! This blog is so consistently fantastic, it is one of my favorite things on the entire internet. I must thank both of you profusely for it.
Came here to say much the same; I loved this post, and particularly enjoy the perspective of someone else who can very much value family and intellectual pursuits (even though, or perhaps because of, I'm a city-loving european liberal!)
I'll defend the "children in the city" position, but it needs to be the right city. I live in London (England), and before I had kids I assumed that I, too, would want to move out once I was a parent, but the opposite has been true. I think there has been a relatively recent revolution in child friendliness; public transit is free for kids, nappy changing stations and high chairs are now pretty much universal, museums are basically all well equipped for kids (and free), I live on a big beautiful park with multiple more within walking distance, I get my groceries delivered, school and nursery are sub ten minutes away, the local church hosts (multicultural, five minutes walk) play groups... And there are plenty of other parents around!
Is my house small? Yes, it is, and I admit it would be a squeeze with more than two kids (albeit could renovate the loft to fit a third). But we pack our lunches and are outside almost all of every day, and I don't even own a car; parenthood in the city has been lovely. Looking ahead, London's schools are now excellent and crime is much lower than it used to be.
A nice part of the city can be great! I think it does depend a little on your kids' ages -- when they're still little enough that you take them everywhere, it's great not to have to drive, but the age at which you can comfortably let them go off to the library or the park without an adult depends a lot on the surrounding neighborhood and the number of other children around. I don't know about NYC, which is the closest American analogue to London, but in the cities I'm more familiar with, the school-age children are rarely able to ramble unattended either because their parents are concerned for their safety or because their schedules are jam-packed with activities, and I think they're missing out.
I agree with you there; my kids are very young, and although it's actually objectively pretty safe where I am, the *culture* of parenting makes that kind of free range childhood I had not really possible (my willingness to engage with repeated calls to social services is low, and also that free range childhood depends to a significant extent on other children doing the same thing).
On the topic of free range parenting, this is my pet theory for why central Asian fertility rates have held up reasonably well compared to peers; the parenting culture is much more child-freedom orientated, and quite unlike Western helicopter parenting or Chinese domination/ownership parenting.
>>Sure, that photo looks great (if you’re allergic to color and texture) and the HGTV hosts love ‘em, but imagine actually living in that room with children. Seriously, just try: how fast are the cushions coming off those couches? How fast are your neutrals drowned beneath colorful toys and backpacks?
Imagine that room as an ape-adapted gym! Throw out the sofas, put in climbing frames, mattresses and a few pilates balls. Then you can raise ten kids there. But yes, it would be great to have rooms for individuals on the sides. Being rich is the best option.
Thanks for yet another great post! This blog is so consistently fantastic, it is one of my favorite things on the entire internet. I must thank both of you profusely for it.
Thank you for your kind words!
Came here to say much the same; I loved this post, and particularly enjoy the perspective of someone else who can very much value family and intellectual pursuits (even though, or perhaps because of, I'm a city-loving european liberal!)
Now I want to try to find the same for the UK!
I'll defend the "children in the city" position, but it needs to be the right city. I live in London (England), and before I had kids I assumed that I, too, would want to move out once I was a parent, but the opposite has been true. I think there has been a relatively recent revolution in child friendliness; public transit is free for kids, nappy changing stations and high chairs are now pretty much universal, museums are basically all well equipped for kids (and free), I live on a big beautiful park with multiple more within walking distance, I get my groceries delivered, school and nursery are sub ten minutes away, the local church hosts (multicultural, five minutes walk) play groups... And there are plenty of other parents around!
Is my house small? Yes, it is, and I admit it would be a squeeze with more than two kids (albeit could renovate the loft to fit a third). But we pack our lunches and are outside almost all of every day, and I don't even own a car; parenthood in the city has been lovely. Looking ahead, London's schools are now excellent and crime is much lower than it used to be.
A nice part of the city can be great! I think it does depend a little on your kids' ages -- when they're still little enough that you take them everywhere, it's great not to have to drive, but the age at which you can comfortably let them go off to the library or the park without an adult depends a lot on the surrounding neighborhood and the number of other children around. I don't know about NYC, which is the closest American analogue to London, but in the cities I'm more familiar with, the school-age children are rarely able to ramble unattended either because their parents are concerned for their safety or because their schedules are jam-packed with activities, and I think they're missing out.
I agree with you there; my kids are very young, and although it's actually objectively pretty safe where I am, the *culture* of parenting makes that kind of free range childhood I had not really possible (my willingness to engage with repeated calls to social services is low, and also that free range childhood depends to a significant extent on other children doing the same thing).
On the topic of free range parenting, this is my pet theory for why central Asian fertility rates have held up reasonably well compared to peers; the parenting culture is much more child-freedom orientated, and quite unlike Western helicopter parenting or Chinese domination/ownership parenting.
>>Sure, that photo looks great (if you’re allergic to color and texture) and the HGTV hosts love ‘em, but imagine actually living in that room with children. Seriously, just try: how fast are the cushions coming off those couches? How fast are your neutrals drowned beneath colorful toys and backpacks?
Imagine that room as an ape-adapted gym! Throw out the sofas, put in climbing frames, mattresses and a few pilates balls. Then you can raise ten kids there. But yes, it would be great to have rooms for individuals on the sides. Being rich is the best option.