Baby Meets World: Suck, Smile, Touch, Toddle: A Journey Through Infancy, Nicholas Day (St. Martin’s Press, 2013). All you really need to know about me, demographically, is that a couple of times a year someone I know will say, “Hey, we’re expecting our first baby! What books should we read?”
Thanks for this - I'm always trying to find as much ammo as possible to convince my friends who are on the fence about children that
1) kids are great; and
2) it doesn't *need* to be stressful and miserable
Aside from the societal-level demographic crisis, I think there's a huge amount of individual meaning and happiness being left on the table by people who would be great parents having been convinced that it's this awful, impossible thing.
Thanks a lot! Beautifully written and very informative, and helpful as I'm trying to integrate some personal observations with something less anecdotal.
Do you know of something similar for older ages? Childhood rather than infancy? I do note marked changes in children's behavior in different cultures (though I don't have illusions that this greatly shapes their adult characters), which I want to cherrypick for my kids.
I am surprised to learn that "Nisa" has been described as documenting a messed-up society. A documentary film available on Kanopy, "N!ai, The Story of a !Kung Woman," very clearly contrasts changes to !Kung society over the 20th century, and I definitely have some preferences. Anyway, that was just an aside. Fantastic essay and I'm very glad to be introduced to your writing.
edit: I see that the book in question quotes Nisa's anger and pain over high child mortality, which, I mean... fair!
I don’t think Caplan really messed up his kids, but I wouldn’t use his homeschooling program as an example of a great childhood. He writes:
“The plain fact is that my sons grew up with very few friends their own age. Critics will definitely blame homeschooling, but the truth is that the twins had few friends their own age even when they were in regular school. They’re old souls, who naturally have much more in common with adults. (That said, they are the most nurturing older brothers I have ever known). And since the twins were homeschooled, they were able to socialize with hundreds of fascinating, accomplished adults. We lived abroad for many months, and made friends in Germany, Britain, France, Switzerland, Denmark, Norway, Sweden, Spain, Guatemala, Mexico, and all over the U.S. Especially Texas, where we spent three months of Covid. And with the exception of those three awful weeks of high school and three agonizing months of filling out college applications, Aidan and Tristan were pleased as punch throughout.”
Your own decisions as a parent directly or indirectly preventing your children from making actual friends is a pretty serious failure of parenting, regardless of whether this resulted from the homeschooling per se or even if your kids don't see it that way. His kids will forever lack one of the beautiful parts of life.
Thanks for this - I'm always trying to find as much ammo as possible to convince my friends who are on the fence about children that
1) kids are great; and
2) it doesn't *need* to be stressful and miserable
Aside from the societal-level demographic crisis, I think there's a huge amount of individual meaning and happiness being left on the table by people who would be great parents having been convinced that it's this awful, impossible thing.
This was such a good read, long yet I have learned a lot each paragraph. And well researched! Thanks for writing it up.
Thanks a lot! Beautifully written and very informative, and helpful as I'm trying to integrate some personal observations with something less anecdotal.
Do you know of something similar for older ages? Childhood rather than infancy? I do note marked changes in children's behavior in different cultures (though I don't have illusions that this greatly shapes their adult characters), which I want to cherrypick for my kids.
I am surprised to learn that "Nisa" has been described as documenting a messed-up society. A documentary film available on Kanopy, "N!ai, The Story of a !Kung Woman," very clearly contrasts changes to !Kung society over the 20th century, and I definitely have some preferences. Anyway, that was just an aside. Fantastic essay and I'm very glad to be introduced to your writing.
edit: I see that the book in question quotes Nisa's anger and pain over high child mortality, which, I mean... fair!
I don’t think Caplan really messed up his kids, but I wouldn’t use his homeschooling program as an example of a great childhood. He writes:
“The plain fact is that my sons grew up with very few friends their own age. Critics will definitely blame homeschooling, but the truth is that the twins had few friends their own age even when they were in regular school. They’re old souls, who naturally have much more in common with adults. (That said, they are the most nurturing older brothers I have ever known). And since the twins were homeschooled, they were able to socialize with hundreds of fascinating, accomplished adults. We lived abroad for many months, and made friends in Germany, Britain, France, Switzerland, Denmark, Norway, Sweden, Spain, Guatemala, Mexico, and all over the U.S. Especially Texas, where we spent three months of Covid. And with the exception of those three awful weeks of high school and three agonizing months of filling out college applications, Aidan and Tristan were pleased as punch throughout.”
Your own decisions as a parent directly or indirectly preventing your children from making actual friends is a pretty serious failure of parenting, regardless of whether this resulted from the homeschooling per se or even if your kids don't see it that way. His kids will forever lack one of the beautiful parts of life.